Posted on: 29th Dec 2007 8:03

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And you are right. Maybe I am bragging like a kid. It is all I have left. The rest of my world is just crumbling around me. Am fighting every day to stay away from crack and loosing. So instead of beng real about the horror I brag. If things were that good I would not be climbing under a blanked with the gas on or burning myself with a steam iron.Have not even done much imagery lately. So empty inside. I do make quite an ass of myself. I am glad I will never meet any of you in person. I am ashamed. John

Posted on: 29th Dec 2007 7:51

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It is titled Old Love in the fall 07.Just a moification of a paper negatove pic.

Posted on: 23rd Dec 2007 18:53

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Thankyou for your comment, actually Buddhism is not a religion , only now people put it in the religous caregory. It is the way to find out about yourself, the universe and to understand the truth. It is a very scientic way to understand the universe like quantum physics and mathematics. You need to find a good Master, so you can understand properly otherwise he will smile, take your money and wish you good luck:) Mental disipline is not so fashionable so it is hard to teach the true philosophy.

Posted on: 16th Dec 2007 14:03

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I sent a personal message to solve mystery and enjoyed your poppies while I did so.

Posted on: 21st Nov 2007 5:53

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sorry about harry connick. no no taint my fault!

Posted on: 17th Nov 2007 18:40

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Susuie, one of the friends listed at your site, is ill. A get well letter would do her heart good and cheer her up a bit. We live in a world that does not apriciate art. We must care for eachother. So leave a post on her board if you have time. L John TOX

Posted on: 2nd Oct 2007 1:35

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Beautiful flower photos.

Posted on: 20th Sep 2007 8:21

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thank you:) very cool design by the way...

Posted on: 14th Sep 2007 23:39

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Hi Antinea, Thanks for looking through my work and giving me your feedback even though you are not a painter. I appreciate your comments. Have a great weekend. ~Marianne

Posted on: 10th Sep 2007 4:30

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Here is my screwwy life in one form letter. The background for all this started as my marriage started to break down and I left behind successful, elite fitness trainer, truly the best. This was due to her wanting to advance her career we moved to Florida. Were in the employment of the Babcock, Timber barons and family company. We were promised a $200,000 salary; things fell apart in a very ugly way, family coup de tete. The Babcock’s are pond scum. My ex grabbed a job in Phoenix and we moved to that hell hole. I do not like to live in the desert to put it mildly and every thing was corporate. I have always worked for myself and do not fit well in a corporate organization. Tried several jobs and either walked away before I was fired or , Often fired . I was becoming finacialy dependen on her and did not like it nor resentment of it. I pulled muscle in working as a fitness trainer for a corporate place and went to a doctor for this simple pulled muscle and he gave me a massive amount of percosets (oxy-codone) and was hooked from there on out. My marriage was slipping as she became more corporate and I more of an addict. She was becoming very abusive. Sometimes physically as well as mentally. I was loosing my self and becoming very self destructive. To brief it up, I have been in a downward spire for a long time and the ground is getting near. The end of my 21 yr marriage was very very ugly and have never gotten right since then, at least I won’t need detoxed but the crack has all but killed me and I am broke and the creditors are calling. I am checking into Western State Mental Hospital tomorrow as a suicide watch. Hopefully I will end up in some sort of inpatient rehab. Just need time off the streets and some strait time. Some help with direction. Forty year ago this would have been called a nervous break down. A meltdown is a better term. Reality is so unpleasant I hit it with stronger and stronger substances in combination, 5 today including Penio Giorgio and cocaine. I cannot go on like this. Have lost 20 pounds in 3 months. I feel like I am weak for doing this and am ashamed. But I do it for others as well. Some of my friends have good connections with the institution and things could go will for me. Tomorrow I become certified crazy. Oh what a proud day. I am fearful and hopeful at the same time. My friends’ want me institutionalize for a while. So if you don’t here from me I am either dead or in the nut house. At the point of simplicity of decision, start getting back up or self annihilation. Need a lot of help, have danced on the edge so long I no longer know what normal is. I hope they will let me use my cameras in rehab. Keep paint, drawing,, gluing, sculpting, jewelling, or what ever you do. Please do not think poorly of me, I do enough of that myself. Any support you have given has been appreciated. I feel like I almost have a family here. Thank You. Hope you are doing better then me. Next week I may be lacing wallet,\. form letter for the sellect few. The background for all this started as my marriage started to break down and I left behind successful, elite fitness trainer, truly the best. This was due to her wanting to advance her career we moved to Florida. Were in the employment of the Babcock, Timber barons and family company. We were promised a $200,000 salary; things fell apart in a very ugly way, family coup de tete. The Babcock’s are pond scum. My ex grabbed a job in Phoenix and we moved to that hell hole. I do not like to live in the desert to put it mildly and every thing was corporate. I have always worked for myself and do not fit well in a corporate organization. Tried several jobs and either walked away before I was fired or , Often fired . I was becoming finacialy dependen on her and did not like it nor resentment of it. I pulled muscle in working as a fitness trainer for a corporate place and went to a doctor for this simple pulled muscle and he gave me a massive amount of percosets (oxy-codone) and was hooked from there on out. My marriage was slipping as she became more corporate and I more of an addict. She was becoming very abusive. Sometimes physically as well as mentally. I was loosing my self and becoming very self destructive. To brief it up, I have been in a downward spire for a long time and the ground is getting near. The end of my 21 yr marriage was very very ugly and have never gotten right since then, at least I won’t need detoxed but the crack has all but killed me and I am broke and the creditors are calling. I am checking into Western State Mental Hospital tomorrow as a suicide watch. Hopefully I will end up in some sort of inpatient rehab. Just need time off the streets and some strait time. Some help with direction. Forty year ago this would have been called a nervous break down. A meltdown is a better term. Reality is so unpleasant I hit it with stronger and stronger substances in combination, 5 today including Penio Giorgio and cocaine. I cannot go on like this. Have lost 20 pounds in 3 months. I feel like I am weak for doing this and am ashamed. But I do it for others as well. Some of my friends have good connections with the institution and things could go will for me. Tomorrow I become certified crazy. Oh what a proud day. I am fearful and hopeful at the same time. My friends’ want me institutionalize for a while. So if you don’t here from me I am either dead or in the nut house. At the point of simplicity of decision, start getting back up or self annihilation. Need a lot of help, have danced on the edge so long I no longer know what normal is. I hope they will let me use my cameras in rehab. Keep paint, drawing,, gluing, sculpting, jewelling, or what ever you do. Please do not think poorly of me, I do enough of that myself. Any support you have given has been appreciated. I feel like I almost have a family here. Thank You. Love you Hippy Girl